When we have NAT’S:

We adversely affect our self esteem and confidence.

We stop ourselves from doing things and therefore achieve less.

We avoid people and situations and therefore deny ourselves the opportunity for positive feedback.

We reinforce negative beliefs we have about ourselves.

We generate thoughts which serve to restrict us.

WOULD YOU ACCEPT THIS TYPE OF ONSLAUGHT FROM SOMEONE YOU MET ON THE STREET?

You’re no good.

You can’t do it.

You don’t deserve this.

You are ugly.

You are stupid.

It would certainly not be acceptable to expect this from others. Nor would you think it acceptable to say this to someone else.

SO WHY DO IT TO YOURSELF?

The first step towards changing this type of behaviour is to be aware that you are doing this. If you are, then you need to recognise the disadvantages you are creating for yourself. See the benefits of working on changing this, and be prepared to act now.

People often say that they are either unaware of having NAT'S, don’t realise the extent of the problem or are oblivious to the effect this is having upon them.

You may want to monitor your thoughts to get a better idea of what pattern they take and the extent to which you abuse yourself by thinking as you do.

Try keeping a diary over a week or so.

Pay more attention to your thoughts.

Be more aware of how you behave in particular situations and with other people.

Doing this is helpful in itself as it encourages you to think before you speak or take a course of action.

It can also be useful to talk to yourself at intervals about what you are doing. For example:

Now I am getting out of the chair.

Now I am opening the door and going into the kitchen.

Now I am switching on the kettle. Etc

Doing this a number of times a day for a specified period (5 mins) can often increase our personal awareness.

You can also practise listening to the thoughts in your head for brief spells. This can be difficult at first but persevere and you will reap the benefits.

Analyse the thoughts you have and ask yourself whether they are useful to you. Do the thoughts you have make you feel good? Are they motivating?

If not, try using a thought stopping technique. Please see information re thought stopping techniques.)

Use positive affirmations. (Please see information re positive affirmations.)

Try replacing a negative thought with a more balanced alternative which causes you to think less badly about yourself. (Please see information re more balanced alternative thoughts.)